And apparently, Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. George Carlin, Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, If there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that hes at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesnt give a shit. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. You show a clip of a young Richard Pryor and a young George Carlin on the set together with John Davidson. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? ", 87. But once the child is born? Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads ", 20. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. Amen and Awomen. Did George Carlin have the best comedy routine on every political It takes up a lot of your time. MediaMath sets this cookie to avoid the same ads from being shown repeatedly and for relevant advertising. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. The people are fucked. George Carlin, Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. September 12, 2019. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. They never mention that part to us, do they? Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. Politicians don't care about you. It doesn't matter what side you're on ", 31. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. "When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 01. Remembering George Carlin : NPR "There's no present. This cookie is set by Segment to help track visitor usage, events, target marketing, and also measure application performance and stability. "He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. This cookie is installed by Google Analytics. . These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. George Carlin's Funniest Political Quotes - LiveAbout The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. 2024 George Carlin for president! RIP : r/antiwork Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Laugh until you gasp for breath. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . I'm a cowboy who . ", 72. What are George Carlin's political leanings? - Quora "I was a loner as a child. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! ", 5. No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". ", 105. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. You have no right to complain. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. ", 33. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. George Carlin. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Everybody says they suck. After that, they dont wanna know about you. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. ", 27. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, Religion has actually convinced people that theres an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. ", 114. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. ", 42. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. We havent tried that for a while. Nobeody seems to care. You will be notified via email when a new post is published. - Arthur Baer. They own and control the corporations. This is the best we can do, folks. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' After that, they dont want to know about you. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. ", 89. ", 34. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. It creates a hostile work environment. ", 54. ", 26. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. ", 49. This cookie stores a visitor's unique identifier for Chartbeat tracking on the site. Carlin did this better than anyone else. ", 69. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Whitney Webb on the Globalist Overlords Meeting in Davos "Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white, and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth: It's call the Amercian Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.". Thats all it is. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. - Gin Wigmore. Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. This cookie is set by pippio to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. Because you have the illusion of choice. "Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ", 3. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. You know what they want? I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. You don't. You have no choice. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. They want your fuckin retirement money. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. His entire bit is included in the nearly two-minute video perfectly conjoined with photos of Trump and the results of his administration flood the screen. ", 28. You dont. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. PayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0 No, wait, hold on . He saw it from a . "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. Now I feel better. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". Germany lost the Second World War. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. ", 9. Quote by George Carlin: "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed Being woke, leading the charge in cancel culture, fighting censorship, and supporting those who are vulnerable and don't have a voice. You have owners. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. ", 66. "Men are from. Keep your circle small. Yeah, the public sucks. "Everyone smiles in the same language. Now, some people like to twist that around. You don't. You have no choice. Everybody says they suck. ", 48. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. Well what if I don't want to? "If four out of five people suffer from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it? 'He's two' will do just fine. They've got the judges in their back pockets. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. You have no choice. I think. I like people who buck the system. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. I'm used to dogs. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Installed by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. Everybody says they suck. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. You ever notice that? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. It also helps in fraud preventions. ", 18. George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? You and I are not in The Big Club. It seems only right. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. If a dog can do it, you can watch. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. When a . ", 10. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. They own everything. George Carlin. The ID is used for targeted ads. The cookie is used to store and identify a users' unique session ID for the purpose of managing user session on the website. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field waving their pricks at one another. Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. Change). I don't trust none of them. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website. Where are these people hiding? George Carlin. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. '", 93. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. they don't wanna know about you. When you see the documentary, you'll see this, but the evolution of Carlin wasn't just . They own everything," the quote reads. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. The _omappvp cookie is set to distinguish new and returning users and is used in conjunction with _omappvs cookie. Everybody complains about politicians. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. ", 41. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. Toothpicks? "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Occupy Wall Street activist completely SLAMS FOX News | An unaired interviewfootage, Brand spanking new memes of Bernie Sanders at theInauguration, Bernie Sanders as Grogu (Baby Yoda) from TheMandalorian, The best of Bernie Sanders memes from BidensInauguration, Obama was better at everything Video comparison Obama vstrump, Lindsey Graham states that African Americans can go anywhere in SC as long as theyre conservative, The best description of trump Ive seenyet, Woman with Fake Boobs Larger than Watermelons - Seriously, she's a Z-cup, Houston TX Officer on Trial for Stealing Food from Fridge, The Princeton Random Generator that "predicted" 9/11, The Top 20 Things You Can Say to Irritate a Republican, Popular Toys and Games from the 1970s and 1980s, The Return of Debtors' Prisons - SLUniverse Forums. You don't. You have no choice! Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. "I have certain rules I live by. I think the life cycle is all backwards. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. GEORGE CARLIN | They Don't Care About You - YouTube ", 24. George Carlin was right: Donald Trump is America - Salon "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. No other time but to see how human nature really shines, am I right? No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. He loves you, and He needs money! Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. To avoid conflicts, each partner's ID is stored using separate cookies, which are merged to the ljtrtb cookie when it is available. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. Everybody complains about politicians. "Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. These current events and social issues that are relevant today . Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. George Carlinwas one of the greatest comedians that ever graced a stage, and his comedy was as poignant and deep as it was hilarious. Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. Nobody seems to care. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. Join. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. "The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives - Mic ", 113. I didn't bother with him. Google DoubleClick IDE cookies are used to store information about how the user uses the website to present them with relevant ads and according to the user profile. 120+ George Carlin Quotes On Politics, Government And Religion It's so f**kin' heroic. Thats against their interests. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. George Carlin: 'Rights Aren't Rights If Someone Can Take Them Away' This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? The table has tilted, folks. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Carlin is funny as hell. These Are The Most Controversial Comedians! - msn.com "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life - Succeed Feed Its called dick fear! Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem! The great George Carlin once said in an interview that he divorced himself from concerns and problems from the world. ", 7. By programmers in one hour. This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You have no choice. The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. Why is modern comedy so bad compared to its golden age? You think the schools are the way they are by accident? Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes Revised and Updated ( PDFDrive ", 97. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away.
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